Desires often become demands, and when demands aren’t met we become angry. Men desire many things. You come home from a long day at the office and you desire peace and quiet, or you desire a warm meal, or even a cuddle with your beautiful wife before dinner. However, often when you get home there’s pandemonium! The baby is crying and smelly, the food is burning and your wife is at the end of her tether.
You have to make a decision. Will you, as a Christian man, die to yourself and graciously put your wife and children’s desires before your own or will you make your desires demands?
If you turn your desires into demands those very same desires become idols in your life, idols that in turn demand your allegiance and sacrifice. You demand peace and quiet. You demand to watch TV without interruption. You demand sex. Your desires are now idols. You are no longer obeying Jesus, but the idols of your own making.
When those demands are not met we then blame our wives and children for frustrating us and making our life unbearable. After blaming our loved ones we then punish them by withdrawing, giving them the silent treatment or even blasting them with unkind words. Satan smiles as a further wedge has been driven between you and your wife and you and your children.
On the other hand, you could die to self, put your wife’s desires before your own (Philippians 2:3-4) and rather than having a moment of anger, you can be more like Jesus and have a moment of grace. You can help change the baby’s nappy, you can order out pizza and you can keep the TV turned off.
Who will you give your allegiance to? Jesus, who commands us to love our wives’, or your own self-styled idols?
(The guys in our church were very recently challenged on this by Flo Visser at our annual Men’s Camp.)
That’s a great reminder Andre, and definitely a daily struggle. I know I struggle with it myself (from the opposite side as a wife wanting my desires met).
Very good post, can obviously go both ways!
The interesting thing I find is that when we truly die to self as men and do the harder thing of loving our families, we find our deepest desires met and satisfied. Its almost as if the lie Satan tells me is that I will be really happy if I do what I want (Like play the playstation), but the truth is as a I die to my selfish surface desires, I find my deepest desires met through the grace God gives.