Reflections on 1 Corinthians 7:8-9, 25-38
In many churches we often hear sermons about marriage—how to be a godly husband or wife. But what about those who are single?
In reality, many churches include a wide range of single people: young adults, older singles, widows, widowers, and those who are divorced. Yet singles can sometimes feel overlooked in a church culture that often celebrates marriage as the norm.
The Bible speaks clearly to those who are single. In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul gives a surprising and deeply encouraging perspective on singleness.
Singleness Is a Gift from God
Paul writes:
“I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (1 Corinthians 7:7)
Paul was single, and he describes both marriage and singleness as gifts from God. Some Christians are called to marriage, and others experience singleness for a season—or for a lifetime. Neither is second-class.
Many people assume that singleness is a mistake, a punishment, or something to be fixed as quickly as possible. But Scripture challenges that idea. Your circumstances are not random. God is sovereign over your life, and your singleness is not an accident—it is a gift that God can use for His purposes.
Marriage Is Good—But Not Required
While Paul personally prefers singleness, he makes it clear that marriage is good and honourable.
“If you do marry, you have not sinned.” (1 Corinthians 7:28)
In the Corinthian church some people had begun teaching that marriage—and even sex within marriage—was somehow unspiritual. Paul firmly rejects this. Marriage is God’s creation, first established in Genesis 2:24, where a man and woman become “one flesh.”
At the same time, Paul recognises that not everyone has the same calling. Remember that Jesus and the Apostle Paul were single – and were greatly used by God.
Burning with Shame
The Apostle Paul gives advice to someone struggling with self-control in a dating relationship:
“If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9)
The original manuscript does not have the words “with passion”. A better way to translate this phrase is: “For it is better to marry than to burn with shame.”
Paul is not offering marriage as the remedy for sexual temptation. The remedy for sexual temptation is always self-control.
Consider what happens when one is tempted as a married person to view pornography or to be sexually intimate with someone who is not their spouse? The answer is always self-control.
We should start exercising self-control when we’re single because if we can’t exercise self-control when we’re single, we probably won’t do it when we’re married.
Marriage is not a cure for temptation – self-control is – whether you are single or married. But when a couple is committed and ready for marriage, it is right and good for them to marry.
Paul has in mind couples, not struggling with temptation and self-control, but who have failed to exercise self-control. They were sexually intimate as unmarried people and were burning with shame.
Some in the church were saying that marriage is sin, so they weren’t getting married. Paul says: “For heaven’s sake, get married!”
The time for marrying is when sex becomes an issue, and before it becomes a problem.
When Should a Could Get Married?
In our modern world, we often make it unnecessarily difficult for young couples to get married.
Of course, no one should rush into marriage without wisdom and careful thought. Marriage requires prayer, wisdom, and maturity. But sometimes the obstacles we create are not biblical—they are cultural or personal expectations that can actually make our Christian obedience harder.
One example is the expectation of a lavish, Instagram-perfect wedding.
Many couples feel they must spend years saving for the “perfect” day before they can marry. Yet the Bible never requires an expensive celebration. A marriage is not validated by the size of the reception or the cost of the event. In fact, a simple wedding is often better. I often joke that I would happily marry a couple for free—and if necessary, we could celebrate afterwards at McDonald’s.
In some African cultural contexts, there is a similar challenge: the payment of lobola.
While cultural traditions can be meaningful and valuable, sometimes the expectations become so high that young men must spend years saving before they can marry. The result is that couples are forced into long waiting periods. Sadly, these long delays create real sexual pressure.
Parents and couples can often place barriers in the way of marriage that Scripture does not require.
Don’t Make Marriage Your Ultimate Goal
Paul then offers an important perspective that challenges modern assumptions.
“Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned.” (1 Corinthians 7:27–28)
Paul’s point is not that marriage is wrong, but that Christians should not organise their entire lives around pursuing it. Instead, Jesus calls His people to a greater priority:
“Seek first the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 6:33)
Marriage is a good gift—but it is not the ultimate purpose of life. The ultimate goal is serving Jesus and living for His kingdom.
Live with Eternity in View
Paul explains why this perspective matters:
“For the present form of this world is passing away.” (1 Corinthians 7:31)
Christians are called to live with eternity in mind. Marriage, careers, possessions, and earthly joys are good gifts—but they are temporary. They must never become the centre of our lives.
Instead, believers—both married and single—are called to hold loosely to the things of this world and live for what will last forever.
The Unique Opportunities of Singleness
One of Paul’s most striking points is that singleness can create unique opportunities for serving the Lord.
“The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord… his interests are undivided.” (1 Corinthians 7:32–34)
Marriage brings many blessings, but it also brings responsibilities. Married people must care for their spouse and family, which naturally divides their attention.
Singles often have greater freedom—freedom to serve, to take risks for the gospel, to invest time and energy in ministry, and to devote themselves more fully to the Lord’s work.
Paul’s point is simple: singleness is not wasted time—it can be a powerful season of gospel usefulness.
A Final Encouragement
Whatever your current situation—single or married—God calls you to see it as a gift and an opportunity to serve Christ.
The question is not, “Why am I in this situation?” but rather:
“How can I use this season of life to serve Jesus?”
When we live with this perspective, we discover that true satisfaction is not found in marriage or singleness—but in Christ Himself.