How not to commit adultery

Every week there seems to be another report of a pastor falling into sexual sin and disqualifying himself from the ministry.  Adultery is more and more the norm and even celebrated by some.  The book of Proverbs gives us some really practical advice on how to keep our marriage beds (and future marriage beds) pure.

1. Remember that God is all-seeing and all-knowing

Whatever you were doing a hour ago, God saw and heard and knew. Proverbs 5:21 says, in the context of temptation to adultery, “For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths”. God is like Norton’s Internet Protector on steroids and that’s a good thing! Its good to know that God know all we say and do and think.  God sees where we go on the internet and what pics we download on our phone. God listens to our phone calls. God reads our SMSes and Facebook statuses.

2. Strong marriages (and future marriages) need strong friends

In Proverbs 5:1-2 a older Christian is instructing and counselling and sharing with a younger man. He says, “My son, pay attention to my wisdom, listen well to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.”
Whether we are dating or married we need strong friends that will hold us accountable and encourage us to godly living. Guys: You need godly guy friends who are not impressed with you! Ladies: You need godly girlfriends who will encourage and support you. The best way to get these kinds of friends is to start being this kind of friend to someone else.

3. Consider the consequences

Proverbs 5v3-6 says,

“ the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.”

The love of another woman might seem attractive at first and an affair might be very appealing. The other person may seem more understanding, gentler and more successful. But know that affairs always end in hurt, pain, pregnancy, STD’s and divorce.
The grass may seem greener on the other side, but the godly husband makes his present marriage better. Dating has the same temptation: having sex may seem so appealing – like sweet honey (v3), but it ends in enslavement to lust, a seared conscience, public shame, bitterness, break up, anger and guilt.

We have an enemy named Satan and his purpose is to destroy you, your marriage and your children. He will wait 40 years to find you weakness if necessary. Never drop your guard, never think you are beyond temptation, always guard your marriage, always consider the consequences. Adultery is can be alluring, but in end it fatal.

4. Not even a hint

God commands us not to have even a hint of sexual immorality or sin in our lives (Ephesians 5v3). Sin is like cyanide. It’s poisonous, even if you just have a little.

Proverbs 7:6-21 paints a vivid picture of the deceptiveness of sin:

6 At the window of my house I looked out through the lattice.
7 I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment.
8 He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house
9 at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.

The foolish young man knows where the seductive woman lives and purposefully walks down her street. He does not stay away as far as he can from temptation. The temptation may be a woman, a man, a website or a casino.

10 Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11 (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)
13 She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said:
14 “I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows.
15 So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you!
16 I have covered my bed with coloured linens from Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!

Sin sounds so good! The other person seems so perfect! But people don’t know that well may seem perfect for we only see their good side, when they’re dressed to kill and have make up on. Its not reality!

21 With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk.

It all started walking down the street (v8), not getting rid of every hint of sexually immorality, not dealing with sin and temptation before it grows.

If you are married: Your affections, and intimacy, and admiration is for your wife or husband. If you are dating, it’s for your future wife or husband.